Meditations before the “Unmarriage Until Gay Marriage”

The fear people, let’s call them. They want to elevate the heterosexual marriage ceremony to an old Hollywood heaven. It is a production by the bride and groom’s two families, a religion, a jurisdiction or two and lots of friends and exes – and maybe it IS wonderful. Mine was. But if you create the kind of heaven that must have a hell as its background; if your vows must silence the vows of others – you mix fear in your love.

The hate people. Producing a false scarcity of love and putting religious pomp on it – is – Hate. Sometimes we have to use that word, even while keeping our sense of forgiveness close at hand. Hate is the strongest word of its kind and it should be. The Mormons during Prop 8 were on a mission of sexual fear – that is Hate. The religious fundamentalists do that. And it is still a tragic mystery of our human race. How can the love of god become hate for people?

The killer people. Making marriage a gated community, is tantamount to violence. Marriage as a private club for heterosexuals - this is a kind of extortion. We should have long ago recognized the pain and suffering that comes from this social concoction. Reserving state-sanctioned love for certain approved citizens? This is the essential structure for racism, earth-death and war.

The survivor people. Let’s have a moment of silence, and then of grateful cheering, for the ancestors who loved every which way, kept love alive across warring tribes, across religions and races and genders… They evolve us past the burning in the public square, the banning from communities and families. These insistent lovers down through the centuries (up to this very moment) leave us a clear assignment. They tell us to send their courage on to the next lovers. Let’s invent wedding vows that are an incantation for all persecuted love!

The peace people. Every year or so, a wedding somewhere in the world shows up on our stealth computers, inflames our satellites and disturbs a young lieutenant eating a sandwich at his monitor in Missouri. Then we throw fire from the sky down on the wedding dance. I’m wondering if all-genders marriage in this country might be the most peaceful thing to happen in decades. The USA – with its great love ritual open to all its citizens. The empire’s closets blown open! Would we respect love in all its forms in the world?

The love people. Love is when the barriers fall with the clothing, and in the sensual closeness the ego is dissolved on the wind. We vow at our wedding to pool our resources, to renew our trust, to relax into the mystery of it. Something in love between two people alone - is the key to what we must achieve in the world of eight billion. All of us must protect the right of all of us to make a life of love.