Blogs & Forum : Blog
November 20, 2008

Spending Time

Spending Time
Rev. Billy in Helsinki, Finland. Photo by darkkissa
By Rev Billy
This morning on YLE – TV in Helsinki, the host asked us “What if your ten year old son demands a Playstation 3 because all his friends have them? What do the parents say?” This is among our toughest questions, and it is often asked as the Christmas pressure increases.

Over time, after talking to many parents about this issue – we believe this: Parents have to know that corporations want to raise their kids. That is not an exaggeration. A child's sense-world is seen as an exploitable market. Billions are spent targeting the young. So don't be naïve. We need to take our children off the market. Kids can not go to video games as addicts. They should be able to take the toggle and leave it, too. Everyday use is too much.

You can't make it WRONG for your kid to go to turn on the screen. Puritanism never works. The control of over-exposure to techno-reality is more likely to come from kids possessing their own power to resist. Find the magical perspectives and excitement that the screen wants to substitute – find that magic in life itself. How to do this? We believe: parents consciously introduce kinds of peaceful play. Start with this: What is the physical equivalent of the video-games? It is the mystery of the contest with evil - it is fight or flight - it is strategy and mythic storytelling.

The parents and kids that we talk to that have more success in resisting Consumerism's entertainments are the ones who share motion through space, like climbing and flying and jumping and hiking and diving and skate-boarding and yes - hunting, but hopefully without the militarism - like archery or stalking wild game with the camera, or – the arts, which give zooming perspectives and unexpected distortions. Such families also entertain one another with storytelling that is set-up and protected: a story by one party is given a purposeful listening by the others, with cellphones and electronic interruptions turned off. Longer stories can have the fantastic and mythic dimensions of a South American novel (or a video game)...

And that is what the alternative Christmas always comes down to. We count on the complexity and fun of spending time with loved ones. For a ten year old son – the suggestions above are counting on friendships within the family, with a Dad especially. Spending time - that's the gift that keeps on giving. Amazing experience, laughter and surprise, will spring from slowing down and being together. Amen?

Comments

Amen!

Submitted by Chet on November 21, 2008 - 12:11pm.

Rev,

Growing up on the outskirts of a mid-sized city (Wichita, KS) I was given many opportunities. My parents had no real concept of giving me these opportunities since they both worked long hours and hard jobs, but thankfully these things fell in my lap; things like being outdoors, hunting (which I replaced with bird watching), gardening, reading, writing, pets, and friends. Eventually technology became more affordable and by high school we had a VCR and video games and I was as addicted as the next boy, but I always had that base of interaction with ideas, and nature and the world outside of consumable products. Every child needs this and now more than ever because the default position for many families are TV and throwaway toys. I was lucky, but I easily could have been raised in a way that makes consumerism the norm.

Keep preaching Reverend!

Thank you Chet

Submitted by Rev Billy on November 27, 2008 - 8:58am.
Your comments about Growing Up Consuming... very much to the point. Kid's toys have a high obsolescence. They are of the moment, tied to TV shows and songs, etc. They are cheap plastic, quick trash. From Chinese sweatshops to land-fill - these are BAD BAD TOYS! The Demon Monoculture! The child's need for the toys is expressed as nagging and anguish at the parents, who buy it out of, often, guilt for not spending enough time. In fact, toys marketers know this and pursue the "nag factor" actively. It's the strategy. And the discovery process of the child, the need for the mystery of nature, the building of original stories and characters, the beginning of the imagination in childhood is the best defense against Consumerism! Defeat the kids there when they are 5, 6, and 7 years old -- and they'll be spending for life! So, it comes down to the parents and sibling's time, a great back yard... We intuitively know what we need. Throwaway those glowing gadgets! We'll all be rewarded the rest of your lives! Rev

If all the other kids jumped off of a bridge...

Submitted by Hissy Stitch on November 30, 2008 - 1:44pm.
 So all the other kids have a PlayStation. So what? I don't buy into the entitlement message that says, "If all the other kids have PlayStations, then I have to have one, too!" I feel sorry for all the other kids whose parents felt they absolutely had to get their kids the PlayStation that the kids demanded because "all" the other kids had one. All we're doing is raising another generation of kids with an over-inflated sense of entitlement -- the same kids who arrive at college and get angry with me because they don't automatically get an A for minimal effort in my class. The same kids that my son has to put up with at the sandwich shop where he works who feel put upon for having to do actual work for their wages. Besides entitlement, I worry about a generation that's been raised with all eyes focused on tiny little electronic screens with constantly-moving figures, resulting in reduced perception of peripheral vision and the attention span of a gnat. Thank goodness not all kids are being raised that way.

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