Retail Intervention

Sponsored Lover Two leads (Jamie and Lucy) and two supporting parishioners are needed. If possible each shill has a couple supporting shills coming in from across the Starbucks to join the debate. This Action is designed to spread. If it's working a whole Town Hall meeting develops inside our host chain store, discussing the issue of corporate appropriation of human emotions.

This is a comedy for the Larry, Curly and Moe of anti-consumerism. The Action is adaptable to any of the BOBO (bourgeois bohemian) chain stores that pretend to be arty, a destination for the hapless scene-maker or taste-follower; Anthologie, Crate and Barrel, Urban Outfitters, Starbucks. Take these three Stooges-like over-the-top characters and improvise from there.

Twenty actioneers dress up like upwardly mobile careerists. Each of you has a briefcase, a gym bag, or a big purse. You enter the Starbucks until the place is full. At least one person is seated at every table, and others are standing by the various counters -- every flat surface has a nearby interventionist.

This is a clash of two archetypes in the lead roles, but there are hidden mermaids -- you'll see what we mean -- and the AM is looking on, ready to join in. The two principles in the Action sit at the same table under the famous Starbucks mermaid. You two are both claiming ownership of that Starbucks mermaid-logo.

This one is meant for Starbucks, in a neighborhood where the Devil's cafes are clustering. How many of the Stop Shopping pious for this Action? 4 or 5 up to a dozen or more. This is the emergency: Placelessness. The latte sipper looks up to see a person on a cell phone who is frantically lost, frowning, looking out windows. "But you said Starbucks at Astor Place, and here I am. No I'm not angry. I look forward to meeting you. You looked real wonderful on the Internet, uh... and I spent an hour on the subway too... so, where are you? Starbucks at Astor Place. Well so am I!

Good with between 15 and 25 church members. Enter the store as single shoppers. No-one knows anyone else. The Church members pretend not to know each other, but everyone has essentially the SAME story. Each of you has been sent by a wife or husband on an errand -- to go to this store and buy something for a child's birthday. But one by one you get on your cellphones to object to the choice of gift. The store gradually fills with voices calling home. All of you are disagreeing with that wife or husband who sent you -- you refuse to buy the assigned gift.

This can be one person, or can be several. Simply -- you pretend to lose something of great importance to you in a crowded room. This can be the waiting area in a train station, or an audience waiting for a film to begin. The item should be something laden with memory, something with a backstory. Take your time to create your lost treasure -- or use a valuable thing from your own life that you would really hate to lose.

This Action is well-served with 12 to 15 participants, and one meditation leader. It gets funnier and funnier but it's ruined if we burst out laughing! In Disney stores, we do this Action holding hands in a circle around the most prominent stand-alone display, where many famous neurotic characters look out from the shelves. The leader, walking on the outside of this circle, talks in the high monotone of a yoga instructor or hypnotist.

This one can be wonderful with ten people, and wonderful with 300 people. When a public place has been the setting for an arrest, say, in which the police forgot about the Bill of Rights; then we go to that corporate lobby, or park, or river shore line, and begin to recite together the single sentence that is the First Amendment:

This is one of the simplest yet most powerful Actions. It helps in this Action if the participants are world diverse. It's quicker -- you can hit a number of stores in succession -- and because like Bump and Grind it is Body Theater, you'll want a big tight crowd in the store.